12 Steps to Stop Negative Thoughts and Become More Positive

1.Look for the silver lining.

There are very few situations in life that are 100% positive, or 100% negative. Train yourself to look on the bright side, or see the “silver lining” in every storm cloud. It’s there when you look for it.

2.Calm the reptile.

Humans are hard-wired to “see what’s wrong” or “different” in our surroundings, as a survival skill (are those grasses moving because there’s a predator after me?). This is a basic instinct from the more reptilian part of our brain stem. Assuming there isn’t a predator in your midst, calm your mind and let the negativity pass.

3.Set goals.

What are your dreams? As Canadian’s we’re blessed with many opportunities for education, personal growth, travel, peace, freedom, fitness, health and wellness. Not living a life you’re happy with? You have the ability to change it. Set some goals for yourself and dedicate your time, energy and effort to making them a reality. It’s easier to stay focused, and to happily say “yes” or “no” to things when you’re on course to something important to you.


We live busy lives, and our schedules and emotions can become overwhelmed when we try and “wing it.” Take the time to plan, at least once a week, and incorporate travel time, meal time, and other commitments into your schedule so these basic parts of everyday living don’t become stressful, negative annoyances.


A subset of planning, is choosing. There are so many choices available to us these days, and we can’t do it all. So set your goals and priorities, and let some things go, or schedule them for a future time when they can be your focus.


Once you’ve made a plan, and stuck to it, celebrate it! Incorporate celebration into every day. Monday can be “fancy tea day” and then savor every drop. Tuesday can be “meditation night;” and Wednesday can be “fragrant bath night.” Treating yourself well, and celebrating yourself regularly, keep your focus on the positive.


Life is about ups and downs, and none of us are immune to those swings. Develop balance in your life between work, family, friends, daily fitness, personal care, and personal time. It’s unlikely that every area of your life takes a negative turn at the same time. A thriving fitness routine, comforting home life and fresh air can balance out a bad spell at work.


Be generous. With your thoughts, you’re resources, and your time. Smile, give a compliment as strong women lift each other up, they don’t gossip and put each other down. Weak women need to start treating strong women with respect as they are the trail blazers fighting to create a brighter future and create more opportunity for our women of tomorrow. The more you give the more you get.

9.Say no.

There’s nothing wrong with saying “no” to social events. If something doesn’t feel right, or can’t be done at this time, then happily and peacefully decline.


Will this matter in 5 minutes? 5 days? 5 years? Very few things that seem negative and stressful today will matter in 5 days, or even be remembered in 5 years. Let that perspective drain away the negativity of the moment.

11.Ask for help.

When life does hand you the kind of problems that need immediate attention, and/or will matter in 5 years, then ask for help. From friends, family, neighbors, or hired professionals, there are solutions and support available. Be open to receiving help from the community we all live in.


A grateful heart has no room for negativity. An attitude of gratitude will rebalance almost every situation, and is a loving, peaceful way to live your life.

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